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Weeping Cock

The Velvet-Sheathed Steel That Proclaimed Him Male

This Is What It Sounds Like When Penises Cry
Posting Access:
All Members
The light in his eyes, the softness and lambent heat couldn't be anything less than love, even though neither of them had ever spoken the word aloud. She lifted her hands, touched his chest, his flat, hard belly, the velvet-sheathed steel that proclaimed him male. "Ran, come to me. Deep inside me."

With a muffled groan, he began to love her.

-- Tina Vasilos, "Unwitting Accomplice"

If you've come to read sex scenes for Teh Funneh instead of Teh Hawt Sexx0rz, then this community is for you. Here you can share all those ridiculously silly descriptions of copulation that you previously had to giggle over in private.

Entries can be as short as a couple of choice words or as long as a few paragraphs. They can be from any source, professional or fandom or whatever.

Because this is a community for sex scenes, we've limited membership to adults. If you have trouble joining and you're an adult, make sure that your birthdate is set correctly in your profile (it doesn't have to be public). If that still doesn't work, there's nothing we can do. Sorry!


We can't quote entire works - only passages. Limit yourself to around ten percent. Properly credit the author and, if possible, provide a link so that we can read the entire thing. (Not so we can troll it. Anyone caught trolling a linked work will be immediately banned.)

This isn't a gross-out community. We're here to be amused, not horrified and disgusted. Please only post sex scenes that you think are funny. This post has a little more info if you're still confused. And some type of heads up is appreciated for things that commonly squick or disturb people.

This also isn't a sporking community. We tolerate sporkings and love funny commentary, but the quotes that you're posting should be funny independently of anything you say about them.

This is a community for bad sex in fiction. Occasionally someone will post a hilarious image or video and we don't mind, but it's not the point. Off-topic posts will be deleted on a completely arbitrary basis. Also, NSFW images should be behind a cut and warned for. This includes icons.

And, of course, finally a word of... well, not a warning, really, but definitely something which some of you may want to be aware. This community encourages excerpts including all kinds of pairings, no matter what the gender and sexual preferences of the participants are. If it's funny, it belongs here. If you don't like it, don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.


We're all adults here, and you're expected to use common sense. You should know better than to harass other members of the community, to use the community to sic a mob of people on an author you don't like, to steal candy from babies, etc. We're not heavily moderated but you will get booted for being a total waste of space.

Here is the list of non-obvious rules, added to only as issues arise:

1. If the quotes feature underaged characters in sexual situations, incest, rape, or graphic violence, put them behind a cut with a warning. (Age of consent varies, but for the purposes of this community the cutoff is 18.)

2. Don't delete other people's comments to your posts. If you think the comment needs to come down, contact a moderator. Deleting your own posts because you don't like the comments you got falls under this rule.


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